We work all our lives to create wealth for ourselves. Some of us have a desire to just ensure that we remain financially secure so long as we live and to some extent, a good start for our children – the next generation. Do we really have control over how well the third and subsequent generations fare? In a longitudinal study of 3,250 families conducted over 25 years by the US wealth consultancy, The Williams Group in 2002, the findings indicated that about 70% of a family’s wealth is lost by the second generation, and by the third generation it’s 90%. Across cultures – Japan, US, Italy and perhaps in other cultures too, is a mention of this phenomenon called “The Three Generation Curse”. The reasons for this outcome may vary – 

• A change in the mindset across generations from hunger to grow to entitlement
• Dominance of earlier generations/ not giving enough opportunities to learn for the youngsters
• Breakdown of trust within the family members
• Dilution of wealth over generations with more members in the family
• Taxes

How can we define “Greed”? It is the intense and selfish desire for something, usually wealth in different forms or food, far beyond what is actually needed. So what drives humans to be greedy? 

Triggers for Greed

Here are some of the triggers:

1. The brain’s reward system: When we acquire something new, say a new really expensive mobile phone or a luxury watch, our brain releases a chemical called Dopamine that makes us feel good. When this becomes a repetitive behaviour, our desires evolve to acquire something bigger and better each time. Eventually, the brain may get excited by the pursuit of the reward rather than the reward itself.
2. The feeling of scarcity: As humans, we are hard-wired to hoard as our ancestors would never know if they would have access to all the resources they needed.
3. Securing for an unknown future: Despite our success, we may have this feeling that good times won’t last and we seek to accumulate wealth as a protective barrier
4. Wealth Gap: Comparing ourselves with others leads to greed as we tend to compete with others for status. 
5. Low Self-Esteem: When an individual doesn’t feel valuable internally, he/ she may try to “buy” value externally through high-status symbols.

So, “Greed” could also be a misplaced attempt to solve a problem that isn’t actually about money or owning valuable things.

Now, there are thumb rules available for us to determine how much wealth we will need in our lifetime, based on a lifestyle that we seek to maintain. Plus, the law of diminishing returns sets in – beyond a point more wealth does equate to more happiness.

Greed and hoarding may appear similar but the drivers for both these are different.  The American Psychiatric Association defines hoarding as a “persistent difficulty in discarding or parting with possessions, regardless of their actual value”. Greed is usually about the pursuit of pleasure and status, while hoarding is about the avoidance of pain and anxiety. Dr. Brian Knutson’s (Stanford University) research using fMRI scans shows that the anticipation of gain (greed/ acquisition) stimulates the brain’s “pleasure center.” Dr. Randy O. Frost and Dr. Gail Steketee discovered that for a hoarder, the act of throwing something away triggers the same brain regions that register physical pain. So, unlike greed, hoarding is a coping mechanism to avoid the pain of losing something.

When Greed becomes dangerous

The formative years, ages 8-12 is where we start “collecting” things that can hold power over our peers – trading cards, shoes, devices. In adolescence, ages 13-19, new to social media, we use every opportunity to show off our ownership of such objects, a period where our fundamental traits are formed. 

Greed starts becoming dangerous when it goes beyond being a motivational spark to impacting our well-being in terms of our health and our relationships with people around us. This is when people start seeing other people as tools to achieve their goals or as obstacles to be cleared away. Further, greed and power exist in a symbiotic relationship: while greed is a desire for more resources, wealth or influence; power is the capacity to get it. A person in a powerful position feels less social pressure to conform to social norms. Social psychologist Paul Piff conducted a number of studies that found that as a person’s sense of wealth increases, their compassion and empathy tend to decrease. 

Greed is as old as our human civilization and we can find references to it compiled as far back as 600 BCE in the Upanishads (Sanskrit texts that form the philosophy of Hinduism). The most well known exploration of greed versus wisdom is the conversation between Nachiketa, a student keen to learn with no interest in material things and Yama, the God of Death. No amount of material pleasures offered by Yama could dissuade Nachiketa from seeking the answer to the secret of what happens to us after dying. The lesson learnt is that all wealth and pleasures are temporary that distract us from our true self (the Atman) and we should stay focused on our spiritual path.

The first verse of the Isha Upanishad advises us to enjoy things with a sense of renunciation. Greed is illogical for various reasons:

• All the atoms that make up our body or the things around us were always here
• All our wealth is a loan from the universe
• Our body is constantly changing and eventually disappears, so possessing anything is not possible

I came across a beautiful analogy used in Vedanta (philosophy based on the Upanishads): Imagine our lives on earth as a stay for a few days in a hotel room. What is the point in accumulating furniture today when we will be checking out tomorrow morning? The Upanishads see “Greed” as an error that can be proved quantitatively. If Value = Utility X Duration, and Duration at death becomes zero, then the total value of accumulated physical wealth also becomes zero. This pragmatic view is also described in Die With Zero, a book by Bill Perkins encourages an approach to life where we should focus more on creating memorable experiences for ourselves rather than leaving behind a lot of money (from our hard work) and not making use of it in our lifetime. So rather than being rich, focusing on high-status cars, big houses and expensive clothes it’s better to focus on being wealthy, where you have the ability to wake up and say, “I can do whatever I want today.”

The story of King Yayati is one of the most famous parables about the “unquenchable” nature of greed and desire in ancient Indian literature. Cursed by sage Shukracharya, he was struck with premature old age. However, the sage allowed Yayati to regain his youth if he could find someone willing to exchange their youth for his old age. Yayati asked his own sons to make the sacrifice and his youngest son, Puru, agrees out of filial duty. Yayati became young again, while his son became a frail old man. It took Yayati a thousand years to realize that his hunger for wealth, power and sensory enjoyment had become a bottomless pit. Like Yayati taking his son’s youth, this manifests as older generations staying in high-level positions longer than necessary or taking decisions that benefit themselves at the expense of the generations to come. At a more basic level, this is not very far from our own fear of aging and our pursuit of eternal youth. 

References to the detrimental effects of greed are also found in other cultures too:

• Greek mythology: The story of King Midas, who wished that everything he touched should turn into gold. He realises his folly when his food turns to gold and he can’t eat it and his daughter turns into a gold statue.
• Nordic Region: Fafnir the Dragon: A story about a dwarf who murders his father to steal cursed gold. His greed transforms him into a dragon to guard his gold, alluding that greed makes us lose our human form and we become cold, like reptiles, just guarding inanimate objects.

Or take a story closer to the present, of a stock-broker in the US, that was made into a movie “The Wolf of Wall Street” 

Possession of wealth beyond what we need is like a golden cage.  You would spend more time and energy protecting it and you would isolate yourself. With your social expectations, you would believe that someone not as wealthy as you is not worth your time. Wealth and power do matter in a world driven by material pursuit but we must not forget that cooperation with others around us is a better long term survival strategy in the world.

Greed is not good for health in other ways too. When greed and its associated psychological stress of losing status or wealth continue over a long period of time, the release of hormones cortisol and adrenaline and suppression of the immune system leads to insomnia and heart disease. 

How can we become aware of our own greed?

Reflecting on our behaviour can help us understand ourselves better. Ask yourself the following questions:

• Did I acquire something only because someone else had it?
• What are all the things that I have purchased and not touched at all or bothered to maintain, let alone using it
• When I pass on, will people say more things about the success and wealth I made for myself or what I meant to them?
• How long would I be upset if my investments declined by 20% but my family members are in good health and safe?
• What will I value most in the long run: spending time with my family or spending extra hours trying to earn more than I really need?

And if your answers indicate that you need to be concerned about greed and how it’s affecting you, here are things that you might want to do:

• Gift something to someone anonymously without the expectation of receiving the credit for your good deed
• Consumption fast: Try not to buy something that you don’t really need for a month. Reflect on what is driving the urge – greed/ anxiety/ sense of power that you have the money to buy what you want or simply boredom.
• Gratitude meditation: Expressing gratitude to people and incidents that have been favourable to us is known to trigger the brain to produce Dopamine, which enhances the feeling of contentment and reduces the levels of the stress hormone Cortisol.

References

https://www.anz.co.nz/personal/private-bank/articles/three-generation-curse/

https://stanford.edu/group/spanlab/Press/bk082307press.html

https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.1118373109

Does money make you mean? | Paul Piff

Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers – Robert M. Sapolsky

Mutual Aid by Peter Kropotkin

Katha Upanishad with Sanakra’s Commentary

Does Gratitude Rewire Your Brain?

When we see someone in distress, how we respond says a lot about us. Are we able to fully understand the situation that someone else is in? And we are able to offer some support or at least express our concern to them? In an increasingly digitized and polarized world, where everyone is busy, we cannot ignore the essential glue of society: empathy. Often confused with sympathy or pity, empathy is much more than feeling “sorry” for someone. It is the our capacity to understand and share the feelings of another—to step outside of our own skin and view the world through another person’s eyes.

What is Empathy?

Psychologists generally categorize empathy into three distinct types, each serving a different function in human interaction:

The Foundations: Biology and Evolution

Empathy is not merely a social construct; it is hardwired into our biology and evident across the animal kingdom. Neuroscientists have discovered mirror neurons – specialized cells that fire both when we perform an action and when we observe someone else doing the same. For example, when you see someone stub their toe, the pain centers in your brain flicker in response. 

Primatologist Frans de Waal suggests empathy follows a “Russian Doll” model. At its core is “emotional contagion” (mice and dogs will mimic behaviour of other mice and dogs when stressed or afraid), which evolves into “consolation behavior” (seen in elephants and great apes), and eventually into full perspective-taking.

• Apes: Chimpanzees often hug or groom victims of an attack to calm them.
• Rats: Experiments show rats will forgo treats to free a trapped companion.
• Elephants: Known to stay with dying herd members and return to the bones of deceased relatives, showing sophisticated emotional resonance.

Among humans, empathy evolves as we grow, shaped by both age and experience.

• Infants: Babies demonstrate “emotional contagion,” reflexively crying when others cry.
• Toddlers (18-24 months): As children develop a “sense of self,” they begin to offer comfort, like sharing a toy.
• Early Childhood (3–6 years): Cognitive Empathy
  Children start to understand that other people have thoughts and feelings different from their own. This shift enables more deliberate perspective-taking, though it is still rudimentary and inconsistent.
• Middle Childhood to Adolescence (7–18 years): By age 7, children begin to empathize with people they haven’t met, such as characters in stories or distant social groups. The ability for abstract reasoning allows for empathy on broader societal issues like justice and poverty.
• Adulthood: Empathy tends to peak in middle age (50s-60s) as our life experiences provide a broader library of emotions to draw from. While the speed of “cognitive empathy” may slow in later years, the emotional depth of “affective empathy” often remains robust. We may even be more compassionate and donate to the needy.

What makes someone a more empathetic person?

Whether we are more or less empathetic is a function of how we are brought up, how our role models behave and our own life experiences.

• Sense of security: Children with responsive caregivers tend to have higher empathy. Simply put, once our own needs are met, we are in a better position to care for others.
• Role models: We learn by watching. Parents and teachers who coach their children/ students to understand their emotions and label their feelings will grow up to be more empathetic
• Adversity: Surviving hardships often creates a “shared emotional vocabulary,” increasing resonance with the pain of others. People with fewer resources will pay more attention to social cues and emotions of those around them and offer support in anticipation of reciprocal response. Being affluent may not lead to this social pressure as they can afford to pay for the services they need.

Our capacity to be empathetic is finite. Research by Charles Figley demonstrated that individuals who are constantly exposed to the suffering of others (such as nurses, social workers, first responders) develop symptoms nearly identical to PTSD, including intrusive thoughts, insomnia, and chronic irritability. His work established that empathy is a finite resource that can be “depleted” if the individual does not have adequate “empathic distance.”

Contextual Influences: Culture and Media

Culture and media are powerful influences that shape our thinking on so many aspects including empathy. By the time we are adults and understand the concept of empathy some of our behaviour is hard wired. The media can play a powerful role in making the world more kind, more empathetic. The danger is that it can also lead to “empathy fatigue”.

• Cross-Cultural Variations: In collectivist cultures (often in Asia, Latin America, and Africa), empathy is often tied to social harmony and group cohesion. In individualist cultures (like North America and Western Europe), empathy is more focused on personal connections and individual rights.

The Hindu philosophy makes several references to empathy:

• The “Atman” is the same divine spark that resides in everyone – so the joys and sorrows of others are also our own
• “Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam”: The world is one family and our empathy should extend to all living beings
• “Karuna” (also in Buddhist philosophy) refers to active compassion that arises from seeing the suffering of others and recognizing it as a part of universal human condition

• The Role of Narrative

• The media we consume acts as a primary trainer for our empathy. Digital algorithms on social media platforms can cause empathy for minorities and disadvantaged to wither by only showing us stories that reinforce our existing biases (filter bubbles). On the other hand, literary fiction, biographies and films act as empathy simulators, allowing us to “practice” living multiple lives and breaking down “otherness.”
• News is particularly powerful where distressing images and videos have a direct impact on our amygdala (brain centre that governs our response to stress) and mirror neurons. In such cases, it is important to understand the tragedies without our nervous system being hijacked.
• Further, the volume of negative news and amplification through social media can be overwhelming. In order to protect itself, our brains start to mute our “empathic response” or we might encounter “empathic fatigue”
• News media do need to report the crimes and disasters but should not leave the reader or viewer with a feeling of helplessness. They need to also cover action taken by police, civil defence, contribution of rescuers and other volunteers in case of disasters. 

Countering Empathic Fatigue and Fostering The Spirit of Community

True empathy requires tailoring our approach to the specific people in our lives, especially during “threshold moments.”

1. Staying in touch with friends and family

• Sending a message with content and tone that does not require someone to immediately respond can make them feel positive. For the elderly, empathy could simply mean listening with genuine curiosity to their stories. For neighbours, simply asking if they needed anything from a nearby store might be of help.
• Listen and mirror the feeling in conversations instead of reacting or immediately offering a solution that may not be appropriate.
• Pay extra attention to people managing transitions such as relocation, a job loss or a divorce. Acknowledge the hidden anxiety beneath the surface of the event.
• Follow up post crisis: Usually, there is more support immediately after a crisis. It is important to show up in the second month when everyone gets busy with their own lives but the pain remains for those affected.

2. Supporting colleagues: Safety and Failure

• Check-ins: Start meetings with casual conversations to sense participants energy levels rather than going straight to the status report.
• Contextual Awareness: If a coworker is underperforming, consider what unseen struggles might be occurring in their personal life.
• Responding to Shame: When a colleague admits a mistake, respond with empathy and build psychological safety.

Managing the Challenges: Empathy Fatigue

Constant exposure to challenging global and local issues can lead to “Empathy Fatigue”—emotional exhaustion that causes us to shut down.

• Visuals vs. Volume: Visceral images trigger immediate, draining emotional responses. However, the sheer volume of negative news is the primary driver of chronic stress.
• Countering Fatigue: Shift from “feeling with” (Affective) to “understanding for” (Cognitive). Set boundaries on “doom scrolling” and move toward
• Solutions Journalism: Media can help by highlighting community responses and providing paths to assistance rather than just reporting trauma.

Self-Directed Growth Strategies

You can strengthen your empathy “muscle” independently through intentional practice:

• Meditation techniques based on Buddhist traditions: Compassion meditation (CM) and  Loving-kindness meditation (also known as Metta) have been shown to physically increase gray matter in brain regions associated with empathy.
• The “Strangers Project”: Strike up conversations with people outside your social circle to broaden your perspectives about life and its challenges.
• Cultural Immersion: Stepping into a world where you are the “outsider” sharpens your social observation and cognitive empathy.
• Compassionate Empathy – focusing on warmth and care by taking small, tangible actions (donating or volunteering) without simulating pain.

Conclusion: The Benefits of an Empathic Life

Choosing empathy isn’t just a gift to others; it transforms the self. It builds stronger, more authentic relationships and provides the tools for effective conflict resolution. In leadership, it fosters morale and retention. Ultimately, stepping into another person’s shoes allows us to break free from our own biases. By choosing to understand rather than judge, we can all make the world a slightly more connected, kinder and a peaceful place to live. It’s something that we owe to those coming into the world today.

References

The ‘Russian doll’ model of empathy and imitation.

Speaking of Psychology: The decline of empathy and the rise of narcissism, with Sara Konrath, PhD

How Children Develop Empathy | Psychology Today

The more who die, the less we care: psychic numbing and genocide (Chapter 4) – Behavioural Public Policy

Moving from compassion fatigue to compassion resilience Part 2: Understanding compassion fatigue – PMC